JOKE OF THE MONTH

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LIKE OLD CHUMS

Trump commended his ally, Bulgaria, for spending as much as 3 percent of its GDP on defence (Germany should take an example of that, according to Trump) and for having recently concluded a deal to buy some US F-35 fighter jets (Bulgaria is actually about to buy F-16s). Speaking at the National Democratic Institute in DC Borisov told the Americans to "go on quarrelling at home," but assured Bulgaria would welcome both Republicans and Democrats.

Mon, 12/23/2019 - 09:35
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¿HABLAS ESPAÑOL, ANYONE?

Out of sight, out of danger, he reasoned, provided the diplomatic appointees felt sufficiently content in their jobs not to stir up any trouble from wherever they had been sent to. Boyko Borisov, Zhivkov's bodyguard and now prime minister of Bulgaria, likes to tell his voters that he protects them from Communism, but apparently he has perfected the art of stashing delinquent officials away by providing them with comfortable diplomatic appointments abroad.

Tue, 09/03/2019 - 10:08
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WHAT IS YOUR EGN?*

The National Revenue Agency people have asked the taxpayers to change their EGNs.

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A guy asks: "Are you not scared anyone now knows your EGN, your salary and your taxes?"

"I don't give a damn," his friend replies. "They will drop dead laughing."

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The National Revenue Agency has just released the names, EGNs and mobile phone numbers of all 25 people who had not had their personal data hacked.

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Thu, 08/01/2019 - 12:03
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WHAT MAKES THE ROUNDS THIS MONTH

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In the Council of Ministers:

"Once upon a time in Japan they carried old people and left them to die in the forest."

"Mr Prime Minister, do you have any other suggestions about the pension reforms?"

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The job of the prime minister is very difficult. Wherever he looks, he sees people stealing. Yet, he cannot punish anybody because they all belong to his party.

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"Why are there no Bulgarian politicians working abroad?"

"Because abroad they need people with skills and intelligence."

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Tue, 07/02/2019 - 10:28
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POPE OF DETERGENTS

Bishop Nikolay of Plovdiv (the one with the penchant for Rolex watches) even suggested Pope Francis anticipated and would welcome the Anti-Christ, at a later date. However, nothing that emerged from Bulgaria's senior clergy compares to the thoughts of ordinary Bulgarians as they resorted to Facebook to promulgate their hypotheses of the "real" reasons for Pope Francis's visit.

Wed, 05/29/2019 - 14:10
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WHAT'S MAKING THE ROUND THESE DAYS?

If Boyko knew the fire at Notre-Dame would overshadow Apartment-gate for a while, he would have set it himself a long time ago.

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Shabla (at the Black Sea coast) is ready to help Paris with 70 million. The sacks can be delivered immediately.

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Plovdiv Bishop Nikolay (who infamously covered some 19th century church murals with wallpaper) said he would donate some wallpaper to Notre-Dame.

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Half the members of the BSP, or Bulgarian Socialist Party, are nuts. The other half are corrupt. In GERB, the situation is exactly the opposite.

Thu, 05/02/2019 - 11:56
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HAVE RECEIPT, WILL DANCE THE HORO

At the time of writing, the Inland Revenue did not appear to be particularly perturbed by the purchases of luxury flats in Sofia by senior GERB functionaries. However, it sped up its investigations of Lozan Panov, the chairman of the Supreme Court of Cassation, who has often been critical of GERB and has repeatedly warned of the oncoming autocracy in Bulgaria.

Wed, 03/27/2019 - 18:45
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A DUNE IS NOT A DUNE

The sort of attitude Bulgarians have to their tiny stretch of seaside can be illustrated with an incident at the beginning of 2019, when excavator operators levelled a huge sand dune near Kavatsite, south of Sozopol. The men were detained, and explained they had been paid a fee of 1,000 leva by a "third party" to finish off what nature had created thousands of years ago. Nothing can be done about this, explained Angelkova, as the construction permit had been issued prior to 2008, when the Bulgarian Black Sea Coast Act was adopted.

Mon, 02/25/2019 - 17:57
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RETURNING 'BULGARIANS'?

Forget the run-of-the-mill calls for Bulgaria to expand towards three seas (namely, the Aegean and the Adriatic, in addition to the Black), the protests against the Treaty of Neuilly, which ended the First World War for Bulgaria, and the incessant ramblings about the "Turkish Yoke." Bulgaria's new "patriotism" finds increasingly ingenuous ways to stir up fatherland-loving sentiments with social media. Facebook, which in Bulgaria is by far the most popular, leads the way.

Wed, 11/28/2018 - 08:44
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MEASURING CORRUPTION IN SEPTEMVRI

The Office of the Special Prosecutor, which is the state attorney ordering corruption probes, took things with quite some determination as it ordered an underground probe to verify whether a water pipe recently installed under one of the town's streets was up to standard. This happened as part of an ongoing investigation against the town's mayor who the prosecutors suspected of embezzlement.

Thu, 10/25/2018 - 14:14
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GOING, GOING, GONE... (BUT NOT QUITE)

What had saved Silistar from becoming an urban jungle in the footprint of Sozopol, Primorsko and so on, had been its remoteness and proximity to the Turkish border. The city councillors of Tsarevo acted to rectify this – and approved a construction plan right in the Strandzha Nature Reserve.

Predictably, some environmentally minded citizens, including Tsarevo locals, protested against what they saw as yet another blow, perhaps the death blow, against the nature of the southern Bulgarian stretch of the Black Sea.

Fri, 09/07/2018 - 10:04
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MAKING THE ROUNDS IN SOFIA AND BEYOND

In 2008 everyone on Sofia Underground stared at whoever tried to surf the Internet on their mobile phones.

In 2018 everyone on Sofia Underground stared at whoever held a newspaper in their hands.

In 2028 everyone on Sofia Underground will be starring at whoever doesn't scratch the numbers of a get-rich-quick lottery ticket.

 


 

Some reporters ask Tsvetan Tsvetanov: "Sir, is it true that everyone in Bulgaria can get arrested? Aren't there any untouchables?"

Mon, 07/30/2018 - 13:03
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OF OFFICIAL NEWS, DEATH BEDS AND MAKING RIPPLES

The BTA, or Bulgarian Telegraph Agency, puts out a dispatch: "We have been authorised to announce, with deep sorrow, that the leader of the Citizens for European Development of Bulgaria, or GERB, and Prime Minister Boyko Borisov, following a lengthy period of sickness and without regaining consciousness… did manage to resume the fulfilment of his duties and showed up for Question Time in Parliament."

Thu, 07/05/2018 - 11:40
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'LIAR' AND 'SLANDERER,' LEGALLY

Yoncheva, who is an outspoken critic of Borisov's GERB and his ultranationalist coalition partners, sued when Borisov said that the state had spent "millions" on funding Yoncheva's TV international programmes.

Borisov made the remarks while speaking in Burgas, a GERB stronghold, and then repeated them numerous times in various media appearances. Yoncheva responded that if the court found Borisov was a liar he should step out of politics.

Mon, 06/04/2018 - 14:21
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IS EU PAYING FOR BOOZE, SEMI-NAKED WOMEN?

Alvarado described the Sofia conference as a "textbook example" of what an youth conference should not be like, and billed it "shameful" because it was conducted in a perfunctory manner, young people were not given the chance to get their opinions heard and so on and so forth. The panels did not include any young people, but all the participants were treated to a speech by Bulgarian Prime Minister Boyko Borisov who in his inimitable manner reminded them that their first task was to "procreate," citing the example of a German minister who had seven children.

Fri, 05/04/2018 - 13:19
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WHO THE F*CK IS GINKA?

Ginka Varbakova from Pazardzhik, who allegedly had not graduated secondary school, operated a couple of solar power installations plus a few car parks in her native Pazardzhik before the news broke out that she would acquire the assets of CEZ, the Czech-owned electricity distribution company on which millions of Bulgarians depend on for their electricity.

Why CEZ decided to sell its business in Bulgaria remains unclear, but there are reports that the Czechs no longer wanted to be doing business in what is considered the most corrupt country in the EU.

Tue, 03/06/2018 - 15:26
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