The personal coach, on setting the right goals and walking the path to success
Imagine a carriage that drives you from the point of life where you are now to the point where you wish to be in the future. This is how Mariya Koleva metaphorically explains what coaching is about. As a psychologist, personal coach, and career consultant, she helps people define and achieve their goals and rule their own lives, relationships, and success.
How does coaching assist people in developing their potential?
Coaching is an individual practice, which reveals the personal characteristics and notions of everyone. It creates space and gives us the freedom to look at and see ourselves the way we are and the way we want to be. We have to imagine in detail what it would be like when we have achieved our goal. Just then we can consider if this is the thing we really want. We often suffer from delusions, we stick to the values of others or live to fulfill someone else’s desires. These are restrictions that make us scatter our energy.
People only manage to develop their potential after finding the power to see themselves, be themselves, and understand themselves. This power can’t come from the outside. A coach helps by supporting the client in this search and in the process of becoming aware – without assessing and judging, without giving advice or “pushing” into a certain direction. A coach can tell if clients are deviating from their beliefs or are being insincere and trying to imitate acceptable behaviour, and encourages them to get back on their own path.
This is how through coaching people discover their power and boost their confidence. After that things happen naturally.
Can you describe an individual coaching session?
It depends on the specific goal of the client – sometimes one or two sessions are enough, other times several months are needed. Regardless of this, the structure of the programme is the same – we set a goal, define the steps towards its achievement, and then we discuss the results of each step that has been taken. The sessions are interconnected and are expected to register development, progress, or change.
Sessions usually last about an hour, but sometimes we make more frequent and shorter ones. It all depends on the client’s goal. Some goals require numerous small steps, in other cases, the client needs more time for action.
During the first session, the coach helps the client to define their own goal. This is achieved through questioning, which aims at reducing the general ideas to something specific and helping the client make various aspects of their personality clearer. This is the hardest part, as it requires a deep look into ones’ self, honesty and readiness to give up beliefs and ideas, which we are used to but which are not “ours”. It is also the most responsible part because if a goal has been set incorrectly, there won’t be results. We never save time and effort in goal-setting. After each session, clients share their achievements so far, the way they feel, and if what has been achieved corresponds to what was expected. During these conversations, we see the progress and usually, clients discover more about themselves and become more confident in their abilities.
What specific results are you aiming at?
My purpose is to see that clients have become more aware of their own self and reality. I want to see them having the power and freedom to be themselves. When I see that they are confidently using their abilities and knowledge to deal with problems and can easily envision an appropriate path to each goal, or in short – when I see they don’t need my help anymore, I consider this a success.
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