JOKES OF THE MONTH
FAILED ASSASINATION
The man who pulled a gun on Ahmed Dogan, the leader of the Movement for Rights and Freedoms, has all the characteristics of a Bulgarian national hero.
1. A brilliant plan.
2. Bad execution.
3. He was nearly killed by Turks.
BULGARIAN BUSINESS
A major airlines advertises the position of chief pilot. The first applicant is a German. The chairman of the board asks him what experience he has.
"I have over 10 years flying a Jumbo with Lufthansa, then I flew American Airlines for five years, I've tried all the modern aircraft and have worked under extremely strenuous conditions," the German says.
"And what kind of salary would you expect?"
"3,000 euros per month.
"Why do you think we should be giving you this kind of salary?"
"Because I have significant experience, because I speak a number of languages, and because I will be able to deliver a top-quality service," the German says.
The second applicant is a Frenchman.
"What experience do you have," the chairman of the board asks.
"I have over 10 years of experience with Air France, I have worked for major companies in Africa, and I have made some great professional accomplishment," the Frenchman replies.
"And what kind of salary would you expect?"
"6,000 euros per month."
"Why do you think we should be giving you this kind of money?"
"Because I have a lot of experience, because I speak French, and because I will deliver top-quality service under strenuous conditions," the Frenchman replies.
The third applicant is a Bulgarian.
"What experience do you have?", the chairman of the board asks.
"Experience? What experience?", the Bulgarian seems genuinely surprised.
"What kind of flying experience do you have?"
"Oh, none. In fact I rarely go on airplanes because I am actually scared of heights."
"This is an interview for the appointment of the chief pilot of a major airline, you realise that don't you," the chairman of the board gets impatient.
"Of course I know. That's why I am here," the Bulgarian answers.
"OK, what kind of salary would you expect?"
"9,000 euros per month."
"And why do you think we should be giving you this kind of money?"
"Don't you realise?", the Bulgarian says. "Three thousand for you, three thousand for me, and we will give three thousand to the German to fly the plane."
POPE GONE
Boyko Borisov comments on the resignation of the Pope:
"I told you there will be unexpected dismissals."
ON EMIGRATION
Who are you going to vote for in the upcoming general election?
A. British Airways
B. Air France
C. American Airlines
D. Qantas
E. Ad Libitum Airlines
BULGARIAN ABROAD
Nationality?
"Bulgarian."
Oh, stop complaining!
BULGARIAN DEMOCRACY
What do you want?
"We don't know."
When do you want it?
"Now!"
QUALITY OF GOVERNANCE
What is worse than a bad government?
"The feeling that an even worse government will come."
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