ROMANTICO FANTASTICO

ROMANTICO FANTASTICO

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:11

First, he managed to enrage Bulgaria's archaeologists. Speaking at a section of the unfi nished Struma motorway, where works had been halted owning to the discovery of a necropolis, Boyko Borisov told the archaeologists in charge to get lost. "Pack up yourselves and your roof tiles and disappear by next June," the prime minister said on live TV.

boyko borisov_3.jpg

By "tiles" he meant the remains of ancient pottery found at the dig. When one archaeologist said they could not work in wintertime as the soil was frozen solid and harder than the pottery itself, Boyko Borisov retorted: "Put on your padded workcoats... I will bring electric heaters to warm up you and your tiles. If need be, Lili Pavlova will hold an umbrella over you too. But you must be out of here by the end of June." The Lili Pavlova the prime minister referred to was his minister for regional development.

Shortly after that, Borisov outraged everyone with a modicum of decency in this country. The prime minister told his chief lieutenant, Interior Minister Tsvetan Tsvetanov, to "go and buy a couple of beef steaks for the police dogs" as a reward for their having uncovered the corpse of Miroslava, a teenage girl from Pernik, who had been kidnapped and then murdered, in what will probably go down in history as Tsvetan Tsvetanov's troops's most spectacularly botched operation. Tsvetanov's men did make a couple of arrests following a protracted investigation, but one of the suspects shot himself dead while in police custody. The case remains shrouded in mystery, as the police released confl icting versions of how a man in handcuff s, being watched by two armed guards, could take out a gun and shoot himself. Allegations that the police themselves had been involved in the kidnapping in the fi rst place remain unanswered.

Interestingly, this type of behaviour by a prime minister not only attracts the votes of what a sociologist terms the Lumpenproletariat of Bulgaria, but is also a powerful aphrodisiac for Bulgarian women. According to a PR agency citing "research" it conducted through online shops, as many as 11 percent of Bulgarian women said "Boyko Borisov," when asked whom they would like to have a romantic dinner with on 14 February.

Bon appetit!

Issue 65 Boyko Borisov

Commenting on www.vagabond.bg

Vagabond Media Ltd requires you to submit a valid email to comment on www.vagabond.bg to secure that you are not a bot or a spammer. Learn more on how the company manages your personal information on our Privacy Policy. By filling the comment form you declare that you will not use www.vagabond.bg for the purpose of violating the laws of the Republic of Bulgaria. When commenting on www.vagabond.bg please observe some simple rules. You must avoid sexually explicit language and racist, vulgar, religiously intolerant or obscene comments aiming to insult Vagabond Media Ltd, other companies, countries, nationalities, confessions or authors of postings and/or other comments. Do not post spam. Write in English. Unsolicited commercial messages, obscene postings and personal attacks will be removed without notice. The comments will be moderated and may take some time to appear on www.vagabond.bg.

0 comments

Add new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.

Discover More

joke of the month.jpg
HYPOCRISY AD INFINITUM
The video, shot in the National Assembly, shows an young MP for the ruling Changes Continued political party who takes up the rostrum to make a statement to the house and then... forgets what he was about to do.

elections november 2021.jpg
BALLOT EATING AS LAST RESORT
Ahead of the 14 November general election some parties – notably the DB, or Democratic Bulgaria, and the ITN, or There Is Such a People party – insisted on taking away the good old-fashioned paper election ballots that you had to use a pen to put a cross ag

OF PIGEONS AND VACCINATIONS
In the neighbourhood, I asked a retired woman, who habitually makes a public nuisance by throwing bread crumbs out of her fourth-floor balcony to feed Sofia's uncontrolled population of pigeons, to stop doing that because a uncontrolled population of pigeon
Slavi Trifonov, the leader of There Is Such a People party
ITN, FORMERLY NTD, IMV, IBGNI ETC
A sober look at the current mess of Bulgarian politics in the aftermath of 12 years of Boyko Borisov may produce some unexpected if slightly idiosyncratic explanations.

boyko borisov 4x4
DID BOYKO DRIVE AN ILLEGAL JEEP?
Dignitaries, ministers and even foreign guests were "invited" into the jeep while the Bulgarian prime minster went for a government-provided ride.

boyko borisov
FACT-CHECKING BOYKO BORISOV
Usually made in his inimitable style, a combination of uncouth nativism and broadspeak, they can easily fill up books. Here is a selection of Borisov's most recent public statements, rendered verbatim:

MAKING THE ROUNDS IN BULGARIA
At the beginning of an exam a student turns to the professor: "Let's now see what you have taught me online." * "Do you remember when we were optimistic and made grandiose plans?"
joke of the month
COFFEE AND CROISSANTS, PLEASE
It probably is, but the genius computerists hide themselves very well, and certainly do not work for Boyko Borisov's government.

money.jpg
MONEY FOR NOTHING
Ahead of the general election scheduled for 4 April, which is expected to generate a record-low turnout owing to the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, Boyko Borisov's chief prosecutor, Ivan Geshev, conducted a number of spectacular busts with an obvious potential

the painting
LONG LIVE BOYKO BORISOV!
The picture, in oil, executed in the best (or worst) traditions of late Socialist Realism was immediately picked up by social media users.

joke of the month.jpg
NO SAUERKRAUT IN BG AMBULANCES
The overwhelming majority of Bulgarians wait in earnest for the sauerkraut, or kiselo zele, to ferment, or vtasa.

Joke of the month 170.jpg
ARBEIT MACHT FREI
The tweeting machine is set in motion, slamming anyone the president for reasons that will probably remain a mystery forever considers a "hater" and a "loser."