JOKES OF THE MONTH

JOKES OF THE MONTH

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:48

Innovation

An innovative Bulgarian restaurant imported a new Japanese gimmick: robotic waiters.

So, a new robot-waiter approaches a customer and instead of giving him the menu asks what his IQ is.

"170," replies the customer.

The robot brings him a bottle of good champagne and starts up a chat about classical music and abstract painting.

Then the robot moves to another customer: "What is your IQ?"

"80," the customer replies.

The robot brings a beer and inquires who's going to win at the football tonight. Then he moves to a third customer: "What is your IQ?"

"30," replies the customer.

The robot brings a glass of cheap rakiya and says: "Will Boyko and Barekov be friends again?"

 

State Guarantees

A woman goes into a Bulgarian bank and says: "I have 1,000 leva with you. Can I sleep well tonight?"

"Of course," the bank clerk says. "We have enough of cash to be able to withstand an organised run on the bank."

"But what if your bank does go bust?" the woman continues.

"Don't worry," the clerk says. "Then there is the special state guarantee fund which will cover any savings you have up to 100,000 euros."

"But what if that fund fails too?" the woman asks.

"Everything will be OK. Then the Bulgarian National Bank will intervene and pay your money back," the clerk explains.

"But what if the Bulgarian National Bank also fails?" the woman insists.

Issue 94

Commenting on www.vagabond.bg

Vagabond Media Ltd requires you to submit a valid email to comment on www.vagabond.bg to secure that you are not a bot or a spammer. Learn more on how the company manages your personal information on our Privacy Policy. By filling the comment form you declare that you will not use www.vagabond.bg for the purpose of violating the laws of the Republic of Bulgaria. When commenting on www.vagabond.bg please observe some simple rules. You must avoid sexually explicit language and racist, vulgar, religiously intolerant or obscene comments aiming to insult Vagabond Media Ltd, other companies, countries, nationalities, confessions or authors of postings and/or other comments. Do not post spam. Write in English. Unsolicited commercial messages, obscene postings and personal attacks will be removed without notice. The comments will be moderated and may take some time to appear on www.vagabond.bg.

0 comments

Add new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.

Discover More

bulgarian parliament doors
IRON BARS, NO IRON BARS
Lovers of freedom were quick to cry fowl. Is this what the supposedly liberal, pro-Western Changes Continued government is doing? Protecting itself from the love of the general public with iron bars?

russian embassy bulgaria
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
A recent example is the Sofia City Council's decision to rename one of the streets around where the Russian Embassy is situated to The Heroes of Ukraine, and a nearby small square to Boris Nemtsov.

Boyko Borisov under arrest
WE CATCH THEM, THEY LET THEM GO FREE
As soon as the news of the Thursday evening arrests broke out a significant chunk of the Bulgarian population went into a frenzied jubilation comparable, according to one observer, to that goal at the 1994 World Championship Bulgaria scored against Germany.

joke of the month
OLD IS NEW, AND VICE VERSA
The leaders of the Bulgarian Socialist Party, or BSP, Kornelia Ninova; of Yes Bulgaria, Hristo Ivanov; and of Democratic Bulgaria, or DB, Gen Atanas Atanasov resigned.

joke of the month.jpg
HYPOCRISY AD INFINITUM
The video, shot in the National Assembly, shows an young MP for the ruling Changes Continued political party who takes up the rostrum to make a statement to the house and then... forgets what he was about to do.

elections november 2021.jpg
BALLOT EATING AS LAST RESORT
Ahead of the 14 November general election some parties – notably the DB, or Democratic Bulgaria, and the ITN, or There Is Such a People party – insisted on taking away the good old-fashioned paper election ballots that you had to use a pen to put a cross ag

OF PIGEONS AND VACCINATIONS
In the neighbourhood, I asked a retired woman, who habitually makes a public nuisance by throwing bread crumbs out of her fourth-floor balcony to feed Sofia's uncontrolled population of pigeons, to stop doing that because a uncontrolled population of pigeon
Slavi Trifonov, the leader of There Is Such a People party
ITN, FORMERLY NTD, IMV, IBGNI ETC
A sober look at the current mess of Bulgarian politics in the aftermath of 12 years of Boyko Borisov may produce some unexpected if slightly idiosyncratic explanations.

boyko borisov 4x4
DID BOYKO DRIVE AN ILLEGAL JEEP?
Dignitaries, ministers and even foreign guests were "invited" into the jeep while the Bulgarian prime minster went for a government-provided ride.

boyko borisov
FACT-CHECKING BOYKO BORISOV
Usually made in his inimitable style, a combination of uncouth nativism and broadspeak, they can easily fill up books. Here is a selection of Borisov's most recent public statements, rendered verbatim:

MAKING THE ROUNDS IN BULGARIA
At the beginning of an exam a student turns to the professor: "Let's now see what you have taught me online." * "Do you remember when we were optimistic and made grandiose plans?"
joke of the month
COFFEE AND CROISSANTS, PLEASE
It probably is, but the genius computerists hide themselves very well, and certainly do not work for Boyko Borisov's government.