MAYA SHOPOVA: LOVE AS A CATALYST OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Maya Shopova is a family constellator, a psychologist, an NLP therapist, founder of a school for personal growth led by spirit of exploration and creative thinking, where gradual development is the main moving power in life. She will be your guide on your journey to yourself, love, your partner, and will share with you her vision of love and relationships.

How can one maintain connection with their partner and nurture a relationship that serves as a catalyst for personal and spiritual growth?

Our innate love is a bottomless source of inspiration.

What is the deepest desire one has during their journey to themselves?

All people crave to be seen, a normal need. We want someone else to see how incredible, creative, artistic and spiritual we are. We want to be seen as we really are. However, if we are capable of seeing how beautiful and talented we are, we will not need validation from others. You will not need to lose yourself in your love relationship, instead you can have more space for growth in love. Only when you are able to love yourself, you could love your partner as they really are. This creates a space that is larger than when we are alone. With this, you say to each other: "I see you. You are wonderful."

What is love's spiritual goal?

To overcome our feelings of separation. A relationship is a healing journey – when you are in one, you grow. It requires self observation, self reflection, awareness, meditation. You do not need to be perfect if you want to be in a relationship, but you need to be aware of your traumas, of the history of your past relationships, and of your survival strategies. Understanding why someone behaves in a certain way builds a stronger foundation for your mutual love and allows your consciousness to grow. Maturing is crucial for spirituality. Nothing is perfect, everything constantly changes. We are actively trying to become what we are. We know this feeling of being truly present, when we feel as a part of the whole.

How will our Self grow and flourish?

Love overcomes what we need to overcome in ourselves, allowing our Self to flourish.

Having a mature relationship with your Self is a precondition for having a mature intimate relationship. It can become a space for awareness, compassion, and growth, allowing you both to become truer to yourselves, open, honest and capable of finding new aspects of your Self, to become more complete. Our psyche craves completeness. The relationships will also open your capability to deal with basic human emotions: love, affection, passion, jealousy, betrayal, aggression. You can learn to communicate with openness and curiosity. Talk about what really disturbs you, share your feelings and open yourself to the other.

Do not think that the other stays one and the same – this is a projection of your own needs. If you establish a contact through presence and attention you can learn to see and know the other. Your capacity for empathy will determine how much you can open. If you think that you know what love is or what a relationship should look like, you are stuck in a concept. There is no such thing as an ideal partner and if you think so, you will put your beloved under great stress and will have difficulties in establishing a healthy and strong relationship. An intimate relationship can be a place where you explore your inner self and allow this Self to manifest itself.

How to heal and have a magical love life?

Accepting your parents is a must.

Let bygones be bygones. You cannot change the past. You can spend your entire life being mad and blaming others. At the end of the day, this does not matter. When you love yourself, you can eventually forgive the others. You can probably thank your parents for the life they gave you and to leave all the rest to them. Only then we can fully accept and pass on life. We can be free in our love. Your parents are a part of your identity. When you reject them, you reject a part of yourself, of life. You can love yourself and have inner peace only if you value and love your foundation. Accepting your parents as they really are, whatever they were, will heal you. You will accept your life. Otherwise you will remain an indignant child that still requires other people to satisfy their needs. You will require a lot from your intimate partner, you will want more and more proof of their love. But you can have magical love only when you accept what you already have.

What can we get from a relationship?

This question is a love killer. The real question is: "What can I learn from a relationship?"

There is no ideal relationship, and everything in it is in constant flux. If we can see our partner with new eyes each morning, each day is different – sometimes it is a good one, and sometimes it is not. Life is also not constant, it has its ups and downs, just like relationships. The relationship between adults has a significant chance of survival if we know our old wounds and can take care of ourselves, if we love ourselves enough so that the other is complementary.

What methods do you use in your practice?

I use an integral method, and use a combination of methods in accordance to the individual needs of the client – system therapy, family constellations, NLP, meditation, art therapy, conjunctive-behavioural therapy, metaphoric cards, breathing practices, treatment of childhood trauma, positive psychotherapy.

Family constellations are my great love. This method taught me compassion and humbleness, I learned to see the whole picture and this changed how I understand the world. In the monthly constellation groups that I lead I see astonishing results. Participants not only find solutions to their problems, but go deep inside their Selves, become more authentic, and whole. The goal of family constellations is to transform trauma to love. Family constellations are made of Love, with Love, in the name of Life.

Sofia, 65 Arsenalski Blvd, phone: +359 879 585 655

info@mayashopowa.com 

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