JOKE OF THE MONTH

In Egypt at the time of the late dynasties, but before the Ptolemies, there was a severe shortage of sand as most of that valuable commodity had been used for the temples and the pyramids. Egyptian merchants tried to capitalise on the situation. They exported large quantities of cotton in an attempt to sell it to the proto-Russian tribes, who for their part, suffered shortages of the cotton they needed to make trendy clothes out of. The Egyptians, riding on camels loaded with "white gold," crossed the Bosporus, and reached the Strandzha mountain range, where they were met by Thracians.

The main reason is that it gained popularity due to a French couple, who lived in the north of Bulgaria, not far from Dve Mogili near Ruse, at the end of the 16th and the beginning of the 17th century.

Because he defected from Communist Bulgaria and settled first in France and then in the United States, Christo Yavacheff was not much talked about in the country while he was still alive. Born in Gabrovo on the northern slopes of the Stara Planina mountain range, in 1934, Christo fled the country in the 1950s. At that point, not unlike other East bloc intellectuals who had escaped from Communism, he ceased to exist as far as the local media were concerned. His name would resurface only after the fall of the Berlin Wall and the disintegration of the Warsaw Pact.

Just like William Shakespeare, who is considered responsible for the coinage of over 1,700 words and phrases in the English language, including "housekeeping," "break the ice" and "the naked truth," the former Number One Communist, Todor Zhivkov, also contributed his mite to the richness of Bulgarian. This is the only similarity between Tato, or "Dad," and the Bard, researchers claim, and give the popular idiom "This is not a dairy farm" as an example of the former dictator's linguistic creativity.

There are three theories about how this popular idiom entered the Bulgarian language. The first dates it back to the 7th century, the time when the Bulgarian state was being founded by the proto-Bulgarian tribes who came to the Danube and first settled in what is today Romania. Khan Asparukh's horse went to the river to drink some water but slipped and fell in. The strong current hurled it downstream and Asparukh himself jumped into the torrent to rescue it.

Many of them also see it as an antidote to unholy Western influence such as LGBTQ, Halloween and so on. Orthodox traditions and rites have been incorporated solidly in the nation's secular life. Black-clad priests are present at almost all official occasions – from the consecration of public buildings to the blessing of someone's new office and even car. Senior state officials vie to be televised while kissing the hand of some cleric.

Adhering to military protocol, Trump did not disclose any exact whereabouts, leaving the top brass to wonder whether this would not be a historical first, a nuclear superpower standoff triggered by a social media spat. But a local TV station in Bulgaria was quick to produce the answer.

The duo noticed a unusual large black animal lurking behind some bushes, and quickly retreating after it noticed the humans. Crucially, one of them managed to get hold of a smartphone and made a short video of the event.

The immediate reason for their civil disobedience was a plan to relocate the local festival of tsatsa, as the small fry is called in the vernacular, to Balchik, which is the regional centre.  

Easter, according to Boyko Borisov, was the "brightest of holidays" and we all lived in the "best days of the Christian religion."

It originates in... the village of Zabardo, in the heart of the Rhodope mountain range. Scripted by Valentin Cherpokov, Zabardo's mayor, it was sung by a local group called The Euro-Grannies, accompanied by a traditional Rhodope bagpipe. Here is a translation of the lyrics:

Boyko Borisov's GERB, the largest party in the National Assembly, put forward a candidate; so did Kostadin Kostadinov's Revival; Slavi Trifonov's There Is Such a People; the BSP, or Bulgarian Socialist Party; and the PP-DB, or Changes Continued-Democratic Bulgaria.

Their demand: to disrupt the scheduled opening night of a play by the Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), directed by US actor John Malkovich. Neither Shaw, nor Malkovich need any introduction to theatre-goers worldwide, but that was not enough for the angry Bulgarians in central Sofia.

"A success by all means," an advisor to the interior minister proclaimed, adding as many as 98 percent of smartphone owners in Bulgaria got a test message from the system. Trouble is, very few of them realised they did, owing to, according to Interior Ministry sources, most smartphones' settings switching off test alerts by default.

Former chairwoman of the BSP, or Bulgarian Socialist Party, Kornelia Ninova further stunned already flabbergasted Bulgarian audiences by pointing out "it was too early in the day" to talk about "unorthodox sexual practices" such as fisting. Ninova was being interviewed on a morning show by bTV, a major television station. She resigned her post as leader of the BSP, the heir to the former Bulgarian Communist Party, in the wake of the June 2024 election that brought disastrous results for her party.

In an election campaign almost entirely dominated by finger-pointing and mudslinging the "genius" PRs of the CC-DB-DSB, or Changes Continued-Democratic Bulgaria-Democrats for a Strong Bulgaria, seem to have gained the top ignominy for the worst election message. In an ill-thoughtover replay of the 1960 ad for JFK targeted at Richard Nixon – anyone remember the Would-You-Buy-an-Used-Car-From-This-Man publicity stunt?